In less than 30 days, I have to give a speech on the art of destruction. Well, on the need for destruction before creation. I’ve barely begun. There’s research that’s compiled, rough ideas scattered in different places, but no speech written. My tendency to put off what I fear is going strong now.
And what is it that I fear? Standing up in front of people and speaking. Standing up in front of people and giving an opinion on something instead of hiding behind neutrality, the way I usually do. Having to create something and throw it out there into the world, now knowing how it will be received. I’ve played it safe for a very long time when it comes to my own work. I could go that same route now and make it pretty bland and vanilla, but somehow that doesn’t work for me anymore despite the fear. Destruction is anything but bland and vanilla (although when it’s turned into Schumpeter’s economic theory on creative destruction, it gets a little bit more so).
It occurs to me that part of this might be related to my setting. At the moment, I’m sitting in a kitchen surrounded by windows that look out over the San Elijo lagoon and the Pacific Ocean. It’s serene and peaceful, and while that’s comforting it is not exactly stimulating or inspiring. Maybe it’s time to go in search of places that are a bit grittier and closer to the topic which I’ll be discussing.